A PSA, Facebook Memories, and my little tale of 'what if'.

The Facebook Memories thing is a blessing and a curse sometimes. This current period in time brings back some rough memories but reminders of wonderful blessings.

On Saturday it popped up. "Dave is not well".

And then it dawned on me that's it's the end of the year.

This time 4 years ago my husband was in hospital very, very ill.

A scratch. A small, insignificant, get-one-any-time scratch. On his knee from the trailer while he was renovating and building the house we now live in.

It got seriously infected and he went into septic shock.

I had no freaking idea what was happening. He was sick, shivering, fevers, pain killers weren't working. I was going to wait to take him to the doctor the next day.

I'm glad I didn't.

I rang my brother, who is a GP. I was expecting a "give him this and book him in to see the doc", but I got halfway through describing the symptoms and he told me to run next door, grab the neighbours to look after the kids and high-tail it to the hospital and gave me a list of things to tell the triage nurse.

At the hospital I didn't even get partway through the list before the nurse had someone grab my husband (who was just about to fall over) and rush him straight through. They already had an IV in him and pumping him full of AB's before I even finished filling out the forms.

He was in there for 10 days. The first few were a living nightmare. They couldn't find the right mix of antibiotics, it was getting worse and spreading, he couldn't walk and was in immense pain. They cleared out the ward in case it was infectious and he got his own infectious diseases specialist to look after him. They even had lecturers bringing in phd students to study him lol

My life was get up, get kids to school, go to the hospital. Get instructions on what to do - we were finishing up renovations and preparing to move house. It was nearly Christmas. I had school Christmas plays to attend, the kids had parties, Christmas cards, activities. My husband missed our son's first Christmas Chapel performance. Run around doing errands, throw things in boxes, move them to the new house, pick up kids, go to the hospital and see Daddy, go home, feed them whatever I could manage (there were a lot of ham sandwiches lol), pack some more and then try to sleep.

It well and truly sucked.

But we got through it.

Eventually, the drugs started to work, and things got better.

My brother came to visit towards the end and asked if he could look at the charts.

His initial comment was something along the lines of "F*&%".

My husband had been on the second strongest antibiotics you could get, the kind reserved for tropical infectious diseases. If I had waited until the next day... the best case scenario is he would have lost a limb. I prefer not to think about the worst case.

But our lives changed a bit through that. We see things a little differently now. He still drives me completely up the wall some days, but I'm glad I have him still here.

Not long afterwards, I decided I needed to get fitter. I could barely walk up the stairs without getting winded. I needed to be able to handle whatever life threw at me. And I knew it still had some curveballs up it's sleeve (and still does). If anything were to happen to my husband... well, I'm it. And I will protect those kids and my husband to the end with whatever abilities I have.

But the moral to this story is, don't take things for granted. And don't get stuck in the rut of day-to-day life too much. Do the things that are important to you with those you love. If you like going out and exploring, do that. If you like creating things, do that. Do the most with what you've got NOW while you've still got it. Don't wait for the 'perfect' future. Don't put your life on hold.

And if you get a scratch or cut, for goodness sake, PLEASE, clean it up properly and get it checked if it gets infected.

I don't like doughnuts

There.
I said it.

I don't like doughnuts (or donuts for those not in Australia).

One of the things I have learned over the last little while as I attempted to break free from the diet and restriction mindset is that there are no 'good' or 'bad' foods. Food cannot be given a moral value. It is just food.

There are, however, some foods that can make me feel better than others. And some that make me feel awful. And the most important part of this to note is - these food are all different for everyone.

As with most people getting out of the restriction mentality and giving the diet industry the finger, I went through a period where I ate all the foods. Even the ones that I had previously eaten little of before I even looked at losing weight. I did this because, well, because I could. Obvious food intolerance excluded (because puking is not my idea of a fun time).

But, with time and mental work comes a little clarity of thought. One day it dawned on me. There had been some foods that I used to avoid or only eat occasionally because.... I didn't actually like them.

I know, right?

I don't have to like the same foods that others do! It may seem simple, but I had gone from one extreme to another.

And now, I think, I'm back to a balance - my balance.

So, no, I don't really like doughnuts. They are a bit heavy and sweet for me. But I might have a piece of one occasionally if I feel like it.

Come to mention it, I don't actually like bread all that much either, and I never really have. Nothing to do with carbs or anything, a lot of it just doesn't sit well in my stomach. However, a nice crusty roll made into homemade garlic & herb bread or a warm piece of vegemite toast when I'm feeling a little off colour? I'm totally there.

Pastries are added to the list. And coconut oil, yoghurt and ice-cream - nope, I don't like them. A little desiccated or shredded coconut in a biscuit or slice? I can handle a some of that.

I also can't stand the taste of coriander and I really do think it ruins a dish, sorry! Also a no-go is kale (blergh) and full-cream milk (I drink lactose-free because of my intolerance, but I much prefer the taste of skim and full cream tends to upset my stomach).

So I guess the thing is, it's okay to like different foods and to even dislike foods. So long as the decision to minimise certain foods is based on actual personal preference and tastes and not on some fad diet, good/evil bs.

A healthful diet for one person will not look the same as what is healthful for another. And it's okay to actually not like some foods because you either don't like the taste or the texture or they just don't make you feel good.

That doesn't mean someone else can't eat them.

And it takes time to find your own balance if, like me, you may have fallen down the rabbit hole even just a little.

But when you do find it, your mind and body will thank you.

And someone else can eat the doughnuts.

I'll take the crisps.

A sense of renewal

Over the last 12 months, I've pretty much been in a holding pattern.

Dynamics are changing, bringing added stress. I now have a hormonal teenager, an overly-active tweenager and right at this moment, the husband is on the pointy end of his Masters - less than a month to go before it's all done.

I've spent this last year learning everything I can about self-acceptance, forming a healthy mentality and just learning how to 'be'.

Am I completely there yet? No. I don't think anyone can ever be.

But I'm content.

To the point where I'm ready to start training properly again.

I've still been lifting, but in all  honesty, it was only to maintain my minimum 3x week habit. I haven't really been pushing myself, more like going through the motions so that I can maintain some resemblance of normal as I sort through the crap in my head and the stuff happening around me.

But now I'm ready.

I took some time to research what I wanted to do and have decided on Strong - the latest program from the authors of New Rules of Lifting.

It lists the exercises for me, so I don't have to think, and there's no chance for me to 'take it easy' or avoid particular movements, which I may have a habit of doing when I'm writing my own program ;) And I'm excited to do lots of new things, old things, and just have some fun lifting again.

And my mindset has shifted. I knew I'd put on weight since January. I'd banished the scale to the garage, but yesterday, I stood on it. I wanted the data point.

Yes, I've gained weight. I knew that. My clothes are tight. It was a little more weight than I was expecting because I still fit in my clothes, even if they are snug. And the last time I was this weight, I was a whole size bigger.

There was no emotion in it. It's just a data point. I'd heard my friends talk about this and didn't know if I would ever get there. But apparently I am. I have no 'goal weight', I just want to be a little more comfortable in my clothes. I know I've gained muscle, and I've gained some strength, so things will fit differently anyway. I'm just looking for comfort.

This is a weird place to be in. I know I'm healthy because all my test results are spot on perfect. I know I'm not overweight. I'm just uncomfortable. And I want to be comfortable.

I even took a few full-body pictures (in shorts & a sports bra, no less!!) and I felt... nothing. I didn't feel grossed out or depressed. I just though it is what it is.

They aren't 'before' pictures, they are 'now' pictures. I fully expect my body to change in a whole host of ways over the years. Because that's what bodies do - we are in a constant state of flux, and that's ok. It's normal.

But I feel calm. I feel blessed. I feel content and happy with my decision to move forward into more intense training.

I feel as equipped as I can currently be to provide adequate food for my energy needs and maintain my overall feeling of wellness.

This is simply a whole new phase of life for me. All of a sudden the clouds have parted and I'm like, this is all good. It's okay. Totally a sense of renewal of thought and emotion.

Which is pretty cool.

It's my life

I've been around. Haven't felt much like writing lately, my stress levels and stuff have been off the charts crazy. Mostly due to this weird period of life in which I now find myself. A transition phase, from one part of my life to another.

I'm planning on going back to university next year to do a science degree in nutrition. I've had to wait while the husband finished his double Masters, but he will have that finished by November.

In the meantime, I've been trying to do some free online uni courses to try and get back in the swing of things... well, let me tell you, studying, working, keeping the house relatively tidy and looking after the kids all at the same time is freaking.hard.work. There's not enough hours in the day basically. Very little time to just sit and try to calm myself, so I crashed and burned pretty badly.

And why did no-one tell me that having a teenager + a tween-ager in the house simultaneously was going to be a re-enactment of World War II? Far out, I love them, but they are doing my head in.

A little while ago, in May, I shut down my Etsy store for my handmade business and went completely wholesale only. I'm still getting money coming in, but the workload is a little less (particularly the paperwork).

But the spark is gone. It's turned from a work of love to drudge work - plain and simple.

I've been doing this for nearly 6 years, and I am mentally done. It's time to move on. Time to get on with the next chapter in my life.

So I will close down my little business that has been such a large part of my life at the end of November. And then hopefully just sit back and enjoy the summer Christmas break with the family before I hit the books next year when I should be able to put the majority of my focus onto study. I say majority because, well, I have kids ;)

Am I looking forward to it?  Hell yes.

I love learning new things and I am excited to be able to dive headfirst into something new that will stimulate my brain.

I'm also completely terrified lol But that's because I last finished uni nearly 20 years ago, and I never imagined myself as a mature-age student. I'm not 'mature-aged' am I?? I think maybe I am... and that's a scary thought in itself.

But, that's my life. And I'm doing the best I can. Here's hoping I can hold it all together until Christmas and then get a routine in place so that things don't get too messed up during transition.

Oh, and if anyone can broker a peace treaty between my two warring sibling factions, that'd be awesome. I'm contemplating a remote sheep station with no internet, a roll of wire and a loooooooooooong fence to build :p

I give myself permission to be human

Today and every day.

Life isn't always perfect. It isn't always kitten gifs and sunny days.

Sometimes it just plain sucks.

And that's ok.

Humans are not perfect beings. The world is not a perfect place. We are all perfectly imperfect. Every single one of us.

Bad days happen. That doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It means you are human.

Feel the feels. Experience the emotions. And know that they are valid. They are real to you, and that's all that matters.

Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Do what you have to do to get through.

And give yourself permission to be human.

Everyone is different, and that's okay. Body positivity throughout the teenage years.

I have an almost-teen. Ok, she'll be 13 next month (and that just makes me feel old).

I'll be honest and admit that I've dreaded these years approaching. It was the teenage & highschool years that were pretty much hands down some of the worst years of my life. It's tough when you are very definitely the odd one out physically and very definitely an introvert.

I knew that the physical appearance stuff would creep in eventually. It started a few years ago when my daughter came home from school and mentioned some of the girls were comparing the size of their thighs - calling them 'fat' and other things. We had a good discussion about that - simple things about body composition and genetics and how everyone is different and that's a good thing.

My daughter is extremely short like me. Her body is shaped similar to mine with short legs and a lot of muscle. She will never be 'model thin' or tall - it's not in her genetics. But she's still awesome in every single way.

There was a discussion recently that she told me about at school where the word 'fat' was mentioned. I asked her what she thought. She said that she had tried to explain to people about muscle mass and different body shapes etc, but they didn't seem to understand. So we had a longer talk. We discussed puberty and how it affects girls in particular - all the hormonal changes happening to the brain and the body and how her body shape and size will fluctuate over the next few years as she grows and matures.

I armed her with the knowledge about how women naturally have a little more body fat than men simply due to our ability to bear children, our different hormones and other things. I told her what the rough range for a perfectly healthy body fat percentage is and that the most important thing is that we make movement a natural part of our daily life and eat foods that compliment that - ones that make us feel good before, during and after eating them.

I have made sure in the past that she knows that there are no foods off-limits unless they make her sick (unfortunately, chocolate is still an issue as it gives her migraines, but we're hopeful!), and she is very vocal in her positive outlook to the extent that she has been known to argue the point with others who insist that there are 'good' and 'bad' foods ;)

Girls going through puberty are at a highly impressionable time in their lives. They want to fit in, and part of that is looking the same. Unfortunately, during puberty, their bodies are going through so many changes, inside and out. Everyone develops at different times and in different ways. And if they already have a body shape that is obviously different from the 'ideal' one promoted by social media and others, then the comparison trap is easy to fall into and hard to get out of.

Almost one third of Australian young people aged 11-24 have reported body image as their number one concern. Follow this statistic up with the fact that over half of girls in Australian high schools have tried to lose weight, and you have a rather major problem.

It is up to us as parents to arm our kids with knowledge and power to be able to overcome these societal pressures. To change the cultural norm. To stand up and say enough is enough. Everyone is worthy. Keep the conversation open, let them ask you questions, work with them to find answers or brainstorm solutions. Don't be a part of the problem - be a part of the solution.

You never know where these sorts of things are going to come from or when they will crop up. From best friends to family to random strangers, comments will be made. It's laying a firm foundation so that they know how to deal with those comments, and most importantly, being a positive body role model - kids learn best from examples, so be the best example you can be.

Be aware of it, and be as proactive as you can. Both my kids know they can come to me at any time and unload or ask questions. Arm yourself with information so you can pass it on to them - knowledge and unconditional love are the two best weapons you can have.

Chocolate biscuits

This is a chocolate biscuit (cookie for all you non-Aussie's).

It's a gluten free, dairy free mint chocolate biscuit, but that's beside the point. If I could eat a real Mint Slice without spending the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom I totally would.

I'm having a shit day. I've been up since just before 3am dealing with kid issues. And I wanted a chocolate biscuit with my lunch.

And so I'm having one. It's not a 'treat', it's not a 'cheat', it's not a 'guilty pleasure' - it's a biscuit. And it's all mine because no one else likes mint 😛

I still had my veggie-packed lunch. One biscuit isn't going to make or break my day. I may even have another one if I feel like it after dinner. It will slot in quite fine with my everyday normal balanced diet. Nothing is off limits (unless it makes me sick, obviously)

This is balance and moderation.
No guilt required.
No shame felt.
And I'm not going for a run or hitting the gym to 'work it off'.

It's just a biscuit.

Juice fasts

I was quite happily listening to my podcast playlist during lunch.

Until one of the newer podcasts started talking about doing juice fasts.

Delete.

Which is annoying because I had quite liked that one.

But no, juice fasts are not a necessary part of life. And they have no place in mine.

And yes, I am quite brutal when it comes to social media.

Back squatting over bodyweight

This morning I squatted 46kg (101lb).

Yes, I am a teeny tiny person, so that is 6kg-ish over what I weighed the last time I stepped on the scale.

I'm feeling slightly badass at the moment. Just saying.

No, leave my boy alone... or in other words, the dilemma of the parent of a sporty child.

It's a little weird standing on the sidelines watching your kid play footy and then hearing parents/coaches from the other team telling them to 'go for number 2 - watch him!'

My boy is number 2.

Leave him alone.

Gahhh... he does love his football. Now if only he'd have a growth spurt some time soon...

Thankful for friends

Who take your teenager for a sleepover.

And bring your other child home from youth group.

That made for a much more relaxing night than expected!

Making time for others

I took time out this morning to go to my boy's awards assembly. I knew he was getting a certificate for being age champion at the swimming carnival and I know he gets a kick out of having mum or dad come to things like that.

So, for him, I sat through a very long primary school assembly. I even managed to get a couple of dodgy pics of him and a couple of friend's kids. Which I then quickly texted to their parents who I knew were either busy or at work.

I love the smile my kid gets when he sees me walk in the door, especially when he isn't really expecting it. His whole face lights up :)

I like squats

There, I said it.

This time last year I was loving deadlifts. But this year, I like squats.

And this morning I squatted 41kg for 3 sets of 10 reps.

That's over bodyweight. Which is awesomeness and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy :)

Because I like that sort of thing lol

Almost done with the Hypertrophy stages and nearly ready to move on to Strength & Power (I follow the New Rules of Lifting Supercharged program) for the second time... very excited to see how much stronger I am this year!

And then I shall pull back to basics and lighter weights again and slowly work my way back up...

I can't lie, I do love lifting weights.

I'm not a power lifter, I'm not an Olympic lifter, I'm not a cross fitter and I'm not a body builder. I'm just a little mum who likes to lift heavy things in her garage for fun.

Happy Birthday to me!

37 years old and still hanging in there lol

A friend took me for coffee this morning and I've made my cake and have a yummy dinner planned.

I may also have stopped at Liquorland on the way home from coffee and bought cider ;)

Happy Birthday to me!! :D

A sporty little dude

Today the small dude competed in his very first Christian Schools cross country carnival. He went on the bus with the other kids from his school to Ipswich and did his very best.

He was quite nervous, but I knew he would enjoy himself.

And he did :) He came 37th out of over 100 kids in his age group, which I think is pretty awesome.

Now he's asked me to train him to get ready for the athletics carnival and so that he can do better in the cross country next year... I guess we'll give it a go :)

Happy Mother's Day

To all the other mothers who just did everything they usually do on every other day.

Well, I did cook crumpets for the kids this morning. That was something different.

And they did give me a couple of little pressies - some lavender and a lovely framed picture from the boy and a Lincraft voucher from the girl (she bought it all by herself!).

Four loads of washing later with cleaned bathrooms and toilets and laundries and a vacuumed downstairs... I'm ready for a new day.

A loooonnnngg day, but a hell of a view

We left home a little after 7.30am this morning. We got home a little after 6pm.

That's what you call a long day ;)

Out to Kalbar for the boy to play footy. He played the first two quarters for his team and then subbed to the other team to make up numbers and scored their one and only goal - I know a few of the older boys on his team had been having discussions about not playing their best while on the other team, and I asked him about it. He shrugged and said it's no fun if you don't try your best, regardless of which team you are on.

And that made my heart swell with pride.

Unfortunately he also copped a footy boot to the knuckles which saw the end of his game (he broke his hand last year, so he's a little extra sensitive about it), a little bruising, but it's all good.

But he got man of the match :) For putting everything into it and doing his very best.

Afterwards we went looking at properties to buy. One with a lake view and one with 360 degree views of the Brisbane Valley.

Both really spectacular, so a lot of thinking and research to be done.

We need somewhere to go for weekends where the kids can run around and explore and we can have some peace and quiet before heading back to the work grind again. Something unique just for us.

We'll find it.

Brisbane by night

We had dinner out tonight with the IL's at South Bank.

It's a nice warm night, so we went for a little walk afterwards so the boy could go to the playground.

He spent the entire time on the 'mouse wheel' and came off sweaty and stinky and with a slight rubber burn to the elbow from not jumping off the wheel fast enough ;)

A little family train trip is always fun when the kids are in a good mood.

Cleanse, Detox, 'Clean Eating', Wrap, Shake... rattle and roll??

Well that could be catch-phrase heavy title if ever I saw one.

Let me spell this out for everyone.

On my social media, if you use the word 'cleanse' as something you encourage... instant unfollow.

'detox'... unfollow

'wrap'... unfollow

'clean eating'.... I may ignore, but that phrase grates me up the wrong way so badly. Using the word 'clean' suggests that some foods may be 'dirty', which is basically the same type of language as using 'good' and 'bad' to describe food, and reeks of superiority and food elitism.

It's.Just.Food.


If clean eating to you means eating mostly whole foods (fruits, veggies, meat etc), then that's cool - but you don't need to use the terminology of it being 'clean'. That basically describes the majority of the food I eat, but it's not 'clean'... it's just food. And if eating a doughnut means that you have somehow 'failed' or 'cheated' with your clean eating... well that's just wrong. There is no failing or cheating - life happens and It's.Just.Food.


Now if you use the word "shake"...

A "shake" can be any number of things. A protein drink for those who have difficulty getting enough into their daily diet - cool.

A weightloss drink? Not so cool. Particularly if it is joined to the consumer having to consistently buy a particular brand on an ongoing basis at an inflated price and is somehow linked to their chance of 'success'.

And don't get me started on 'juicing' or whatever. Throw stuff in a blender, mix it all together and drink it if you enjoy it. It's not magical it's just another way to get some extra fruit and veggies into your day. I like to eat my fruit & vege, someone else may like to drink them... cool. But neither is better than the other.

And there endeth my rant for the day.

Now that is out of my head, I can get back to work ;)

May the Fourth be with you...

Star Wars day... That was cool, so I decided to screw with the husband's head and make the Vulcan salute while saying it...

He groaned.

Probably didn't help that I can't actually make the sign - my fingers just don't work that way lol


But the business announcement is now made public.

I'm shutting down my retail store as of 31 May.

Huuuuuuuggggeeeee relief here as I've been struggling to stay on top of things for a while.

This way I'm still doing wholesale orders (and getting some income), but it's not as many hours each day and I can have more time to focus on the kids and eventually study.

And maybe I'll even get to read some books or, I don't know... just chill out properly for once (ok, that may be a pipedream, but I'll work on it)

What day is it again?

My routine and schedule is all out of whack.

But I have work to do...

I've been mulling  over a big business-related decision for a while and I finally decided what to do. I feel excited, but I know I have to get through a hard patch first. That's muting the excitement somewhat ;)

Public Holiday

Two public holidays in a row.

Add that to the student free day the kids had at the beginning of the term and they've only had one Monday at school so far this term.

We are going to the movies though - Captain America Civil War... that's a bonus!

All day in bed... hello new month.

Well yeah, I have spent pretty much all day in bed. I fell asleep while eating lunch. Sitting up. On the couch, watching Landline.

I did manage half a load of washing though... and I helped the boy child piece together one of the racing-car tracks (seriously who comes up with those 'instructions'??) and supervised the older one while she finished off an English assignment.

And my bed is calling again.

Pizza and wine

Its been a long day.

The piles of washing are adding up and I'm feeling a bit off at the moment. I hope I'm not coming down with something... :(

What does balance and moderation mean to you?

Today the question was asked.... "What does moderation mean to you?"

I do like to use the term 'balance' instead of moderation.

But this is what I came up with....

Moderation/balance to me means being able to go out to dinner and order whatever appeals to me on the menu. Without fear, without guilt, without angst.

It means sometimes eating everything on the plate and other times asking for a doggy-bag to take some home (or just leaving it unfinished).

It means baking a cake the old fashioned way without worrying about it being 'clean' or 'raw' or 'healthy' (or 'super'). Having the amount of it I want and being satisfied because I didn't restrict myself.

Moderation/balance also means knowing that no food is off-limits unless we have allergies/intolerances... and it also means I have the freedom to work around those in whatever way I can - dairy-free margarine anyone?

It means I can say 'yes' to a food being offered that I really want. And 'no' when I just don't feel like it.

To me, moderation/balance = freedom.

And it means I can live my life.

Parent/teacher interviews

Two hours of parent/teacher interviews.

Two hours.

I shouldn't complain, some parents were there for longer and the poor teachers were there from end of school to after 8.30pm.

And being the mean mother I am, I made my kids sit outside and do homework and eat dinner (packed in the Thermos, thank you very much - sometimes I am organised lol) while we saw my daughter's teachers.

But I'm not doing that again unless it's requested. And apparently I have a model student for a child. Something must've happened between Grade 6 & 7 ;)

Trust the process

I've been lifting weights for about 2.5 years now. I started small and have slowly been plugging along gradually getting stronger.

I've been following the ‪New Rules of Lifting Supercharged program for the last little while and am on my second go through. I enjoy it, it challenges me and it gives me a way to see definite progress by looking back through my training logs.

This morning I wanted to see where I was in relation to this stage last time. I've just started Hypertrophy III for those that know the layout.

It's a 3x10 squat day today. Last time I was squatting 26kg/57lb (65% bodyweight). This morning I did a fairly comfortable 36kg/79lb for a 3x10. That's 90% of my bodyweight.

I know it doesn't seem huge, but it's a 10kg increase over 12 months-ish which is 25% of my bodyweight added to that bar on my back.

So that's kinda a big deal for me :)

It hasn't been a steady upwards increase. It's been up, down and sideways, and more like a gentle crawl. Which is fine by me.

Don't get caught up in the 'must lift more weight asap' mindset. If you're in this as a lifetime thing, it's not necessary. Trust the process - you WILL get stronger. In your own way and in your own time.

I listen to my body, focus on form and increase the weight when I'm ready. And I de-load when I need to.

Slow, steady and sustainable. Little things adding up over time. And it's a pretty amazing journey.

Messed up week

I can foresee this being a slightly messed up week.

I have to keep checking the date on my watch to know what day it is...

And footy training is tonight instead of Thursday.

Let's not forget there's another long weekend coming up this weekend.

I need a real holiday.

Food, fun and friends

We didn't make it to the Dawn Service this morning like we have the last few years. After a big weekend it was better for us to stay in bed and watch the Anzac Day commemorations on tv instead.

I made a double batch of Anzac bikkies and we had some friends over for food and fun - a nice bbq lunch and just a good time really. Even if we spent some of the time trying not to watch the kids trying out the boy child's new skate ramp...

As introverts, the husband and I are fairly quiet and subdued in public, particularly in group settings. It takes a lot for us to move out of our comfort zone. In all honesty, we do just prefer being at home. Or at least in an environment where we feel comfortable.

So we like having people over to hang out. We love cooking and creating delicious food for our friends. Sharing some wine and good times together. I think it's probably our way of showing our appreciation for those around us who have had an impact on our lives.

And then we go back into our shells for a little while to recharge ;)

One hyped up child, free to good home...

Beach, birthday parties and family dinners.

At least one over-tired, grumpy and irritated child hanging around.

Also comes with a 9 year old attitude.

He's toilet trained and can make himself breakfast.

Be warned, he is also teaching himself to write Ancient Greek....

Footy, beach time and traffic jams

We got to catch up with friends this afternoon on the Gold Coast. My kids love their kids and they all had a great time.

I thought the water was getting a little on the cool side ;)

All this after the boy's rather active footy game this morning.

And what was meant to be about an hour's drive to the coast turning into almost two hours stuck in traffic with kids going completely crazy in the back.

We were almost at our destination otherwise I'm fairly certain the husband would have put the car into 4wd and jumped the medium strip to do a U-turn and head back home just to get them to stop picking at, poking, looking, touching, talking, breathing on etc each other.

I wonder if we could put a seat on the roof racks.

I'll sit up there...

It's a marathon, not a sprint....

Isn't that what they all say??

"It's a marathon... take your time. It's not a sprint to the finish line"

Yeah, well... I'd prefer not to be in a race of any kind, so let me change that for you.

It's not a race, it's a journey. Of discovery. Of learning. Of living.

Slow, steady & sustainable.

And if you want to walk, just walk.

I'll make my cake and I'll eat it too

There's nothing wrong with having the occasional piece of cake. Even one made with *gasp* white sugar and flour (ok, in my case, it was a gluten-free and dairy-free cake mix... I had to make two so I cheated lol).

The key word in that is occasional.

You know, like, every now and then. For birthdays, special occasions and whatnot.

Besides, cake is delicious.

I like things that are delicious.

Happy Birthday little dude

Today my boy is 9yo.

He's a cute, intelligent and sometimes challenging young man.

But I love him.

Daddy made him a skate ramp for the driveway, he got a new cricket bat and a stack of books on Marine Biology as requested.

My parents also provided a Captain Underpants book and the Treehouse activity book.

Cupcakes after his cross country training (he is on the school team!!) and then a yummy dinner and cake tonight with family :)

Hanging out at The Gabba

Picked the boy child up early from school today so he could go see a partial training session of the Brisbane Lions at the Gabba. After which, he and a couple of hundred other under-9 footy kids were presented with 2016 Lions jerseys as part of their AFL Qld registration.

There's so much opportunity for kids these days... but I'm not sure they quite realise it...

It was a little sad at the end though as they were handing out Four n Twenty mini pies to the kids... my little Coeliac kid had to walk past all these kids munching on really yummy smelling pies and he was starving as he had devoured everything in the lunchbox I packed waaaay too quickly.

Breathe dammit. Just breathe.

Hello Monday. You started off so well but you're starting to slide downhill somewhat.

Still lots to do, some can be done now, others will have to wait until tomorrow.

I have cakes to make, dinners to sort out, a beach trip to plan, all mixed in with the usual day-to-day stuff and work.

Yes, I over-think things. But seriously, if I didn't, we would have nothing to eat and nothing clean to wear and nothing fun to do.

So I'm over here breathing and trying to act all zen-like while my brain is rushing about at 100km per hour.

Breathe dammit.

It'll all turn out in the end.

Mount Washmore is gone...

Finally.

I don't even want to think about how many loads I folded and put away today.

But I just walked past the laundry and there's at least another load's worth of clothes sitting in the basket already.

I think it's multiplying...

AFL season is upon us

This is my son's fourth year playing AFL (Aussie Rules football for the uninitiated lol). He started out in AusKick and played under6's that season and he's been there ever since.

He loves it. It's the one thing that he rarely ever complains about. Even after a full day at school he looks forward to training on Thursday evenings, and this morning he was eager for the first game of the season.

We are totally blessed to have had the same awesome coach and the same core group of kids all the way through. He's made some really good mates and learned a lot of great skills that he can use on and off the field.

So I'll continue to take him every Thursday and every Saturday there is a game until he doesn't want to play any more. Which by the looks of it won't be any time soon as he's already counting down the time until he can play for the school team (next year I think!).

Wow. Unexpected.

I wasn't expecting my little brain burst from yesterday to get shared over 20 times and get over 23,000 views!

It was just a little cathartic stress-release, trying to get the thoughts out of my head and somewhat clearly down on paper (or the screen in this case).

Very weird to have actual people reading my words on Facebook ;)

But today I spent the morning at the school cross country/Fun Run. I spent most of it standing, jumping and enjoying embarrassing multiple children I knew well by loudly cheering their name as they ran past :)

My boy came 3rd in his age group over a 1.5km circuit - he ran hard and was most pleased with his results.

My gorgeous girl, had to do 3km. She did the first lap and asked me to run the second with her, so I did. Walking, talking, and a little bit of running. And a whole lot of encouragement. I was particularly impressed with the kids from her grade that encouraged her every time they came past. Every one of them. Telling her she was doing awesome and to keep on going. And she did, and she finished.

So incredibly brilliant. I'm one proud mama.

I don't need fixing. I'm not broken.

Cheating today with a copy from my Facebook page...




It's been a struggle for me mentally this last week or so. Those that know me well know I am all about being ‪body positive and living life in a healthy and sustainable way - forming habits slowly over time and being kind to ourselves.

Well, no. I have not been kind to myself. Not lately anyway.

When I see or hear people talking about their latest diet, their aims to lose weight, flatten their tummy, slim their thighs, get rid of cellulite or stretch marks, after a while sometimes I question whether I need to do that too.

The answer, of course, is no, I don't. My body isn't perfect, but it doesn't need fixing. I'm an almost 37 year old mother of two with so many stories shown in the marks and scars on my body. I'm no longer an underweight Uni student or that overweight new Mum who yoyo-ed back and forth.

I'm the strongest I have ever been. I am the healthiest I have ever been (and I have the test results to prove it), but still I struggle. In a world where image is everything, it's easy to feel like you don't fit, that you're not quite up to scratch, that you're not enough.

Do I workout enough or too much? Do I spend enough time with my family, or too much? Am I selfless or selfish? And which one is better?

We are our own worst enemies. But society at large and the social media imagery that leaks into every corner of our lives doesn't help.

I am now in the healthy weight range for my height. But I have a little rounded tummy covered in tiger stripes that jiggles a little. Why? Because that's what my body at 37yo looks like after everything it's been through. And that's okay. It's normal for my body.

It doesn't need fixing. It isn't broken.

Do I think it's beautiful? Not yet. That's something I'm working on. It's a work in progress. Slow and steady, little by little, I'll chip away until I get there. I have 37 years of 'stuff' to wade through first.

Make it sustainable

I've been meeting with a friend one afternoon a week after school during term time almost every week for about the last two years. We started out just walking around the primary school while our kids were at band practice, did homework or just played together (special mention to a friend's older boy who has taken on an impromptu mentor role for our boys - they adore him).

It started out with an idea that our kids wouldn't let us quit because they would want their socialisation time... but it's now something we look forward to every week and really miss when we can't get there.

These days we walk or jog or sprint or run... we make the decision when we get there based on how our day went. Some days it's all we can do to walk the path, other days we need to sprint off some anger or frustration - I guess it's cheap therapy ;)

Today we did our first strength session with kettlebells.

Keeping it simple and just going with the flow. I am so insanely proud of my friend.

We recently moved over to the new high school campus and they have a proper sized oval. She jogged that entire length and powered up the stairs in addition to doing 2 sets of strength exercises using the kettlebells and bodyweight.

It was nothing strenuous - she's new to it, so we did the basics. Squat, hinge, push, pull, single-leg move (step ups), lunge and a basic core (mountain climbers).

I think she may have caught the strength bug.

And she may still talk to me, even if she can't walk properly tomorrow.

But we'll do it all again next week.

Yeah, it's only one day a week. But that's what is currently doable, so that's what we're doing. Slow, steady, and sustainable.

Meanwhile, that was my second session for the day. I don't know how pt's and group trainers do it. I'm freaking tired. So I'm going to bed.

It's hard to be body positive and inclusive when your body isn't included.

Just once I'd like to join in on the fun.

All these cute and cool t-shirts with body-positive sayings etc and I can't buy them because I'm too small.

No, I am not stick-thin. I am just small from top to toe. Which means that overall, my size is smaller than even the lowest average.

I buy clothes in the kids section... the age 10-12 years section.

So no, that size S (us4-6, au8-10) will not fit me. And I know I'm not supposed to complain.

I'm not a size 0... I'm a us2/au6-ish. And at 4'9/145cm, that's not thin, that's just slim. To add to the issues, I do actually have curves. I have a waist, I have hips, I have a butt, thighs & calves (hello squats and deadlifts), I have traps and I have rather muscular arms. Add in my tummy from 2 kids and c/sections and the fact I am closer to 40 than I'd prefer to acknowledge, and therein lies my issue.

Try and find me a kid's size that incorporates that.

Yes, I know all about thin privilege and I know I'm not supposed to complain. So I don't. I just go without. And live with clothes that don't quite fit right or try to adjust them as best I can. But my seamstress skills really do suck (yes, I have tried... apparently that gene deserted me somewhere along the line. I can crochet, but you can't really go out in public in nothing but a rainbow poncho).

But just once... just once, I'd like to be able to support some of these endeavours by purchasing apparel that suits me and my world views.

It's hard to be body positive and inclusive when your body isn't included.

Student Free Day

I think we are the only school in the city that has a student free day today.

An extra couple of kids added to my brood so we headed to the park with some other school families. It was actually pretty good because there was basically no-one else there (just some smaller kids) so they all got to play and hang out together and had a good time.

Now if they only had a coffee shop nearby....

Sunday Funday?

Excuse me while I laugh ;)

I cleaned the house.

I did make bibimbap for dinner though, that was yummy.

Now I have to clean the kitchen again....

Impromptu movie night

After spending a lot of the day sorting through the boy child's closet (and subsequently handing on a HUGE bag of clothes to a friend's son), the husband comes home and announces that we should go see Kung Fu Panda 3 at 6.15pm.

And so we did.

The kids laughed pretty much all the way through - it was a good movie :)

And it's pretty much straight to bed now. Because we're old lol

Forget about Friday

Just bring on the weekend.

Kids are home. That's a good thing.

Several orders and about 40 products to post. That's a good thing too.

Grocery day so we can have heaps of food? Yep, that's good.

All on the same day after I've had about 2 hours sleep and the kids are still in recovery mode after 2 weeks away from home?

Probably not such a good idea.

But we did survive.

Just.

No social media for 24 hours....

Well, I did it.
No checking social media for 24 hours.

Okay, except for the one work-related message, which doesn't count because it is work, and didn't go through the Facebook app, only messenger, and it was reply and send only (just being honest lol).

Oh hey, look! I even have an image for you. Do you know just how many notifications I had on that thing after 24 hours? Here's a hint, you can't actually look at them all, Facebook gives up after a while ;)

But the results?

I actually partially cheated because I knew that I was driving to pick up the kids today - 2 hours there and 2 hours back... that's at least 4 hours I wasn't going to be checking it anyway.

But I didn't even feel like checking it when I was waiting at Maccas for the kids and Mum to turn up. I did browse realestate.com.au (anyone that knows us knows that this is our hobby lol), but otherwise, I was all good.

I didn't even take any photos.

Not one.

I got home and checked my work emails and answered any messages I needed to, and... that was it. I tried browsing Facebook. I 'liked' a couple of posts, but I didn't actually want to be on there. I flicked through Instagram. And then turned it all off and got stuck into some work.

That was weird.

And the only time I got my phone out at footy training this evening was to check an email relevant to a conversation I was having and text my husband.

Going forward I have to try really hard to minimise my time spent on social media. I think by putting work duties first (scheduling posts etc) I should be able to manage it.

Did I also mention that during my social media free time yesterday I cleaned out four drawers and a box in my office? I can actually see my desk.

It was also a jolt to realise just how much time is wasted, and how very easy it is to lose track of that time when lost in the web of social media posts.

Oh, and just how many times I reach for the phone to "just check" on something.

That was a physical shock actually. You find your hands doing it almost autonomously.

I'm definitely going to set aside small amounts of time to clean up my Facebook groups and pages and keep weeding through my Instagram feed. Just little bits at a time should do the trick. There's a lot of nonsense to sort through.

All this spare time to actually get things done.

And maybe read a book or two.

Now there's a thought....

A 24 hour detox

No. Not one of those. I don't mean the cayenne pepper or lemon water nonsense.

I mean a 24 hour social media break.

I'm working my way through Inside Out by Anastasia Amour and this is today's exercise.

As my work is pretty much almost completely online, this could be a challenge - the temptation will be there to open up Facebook or quickly look at Instagram or Twitter.

But it's only 24 hours. I can do this.

Getting lonely

It's a bit too quiet without the kids around here.

No matter how much they drive me nuts when they are at home, I do love the little ratbags.

Feeling a bit off

Sometimes it gets that way.

Today was struggle-street, but I got some work done, so I think I'll count that as a positive.

It's kinda lonely around here about 4.30pm when there's no kids or husband floating around.

Eating veggies

The habit of the month at Healthy Habits Happy Moms is adding more veggies to your daily intake.

This is one thing I am actually pretty good at. We always had veggies to choose from when I was a kid, but they were generally basic. It's taken a while to get my husband to eat a variety of fruit & veggies though. I think when I first met him his veggie intake was contained to mashed potato or fies with peas & corn lol

My usual lunch is a small snack plate with a variety of veggies and some fruit, nuts and some kind of protein. I even added heaps of veggies to the spag bol we had for dinner tonight - carrot, onion, zucchini, celery and capsicum were the choices tonight.

I like to incorporate as many different types of veggies as possible - lots of variety and lots of colour.

First rule of foam rolling

Try not to swear.

Back in the gym yesterday after a week of sitting on my backside in a car for hours on end means having issues moving my legs today.

Oh well. The foam rolling will work, even if I want to smash it against the wall while I'm doing it.

Meanwhile, we bought the boy a birthday present today - one very awesome skateboard ramp. Secondhand and the husband is currently pimping it a little as it was a bit rough around the edges (very well loved).

That should keep him happy when he gets home :)

Impromptu lunch date

I headed into town for an impromptu lunch date with the husband. The only issue I have with these is they don't last long enough. And I sort of wanted to go shopping afterwards, but I also didn't. I knew I had to get home and do some work, so I guilted myself into coming home. That sucks, but I have gotten a fair chunk of work actually completed, so that's a good thing.

I got home and checked my emails and there was a message from my daughter with her English assignment research attached for my input. She's 3 hours away with my parents, but at least she is keeping her promise of about 30 minutes homework/assignment work every day after lunch.

Totally not ready for her to be sending me emails though.

I feel old.

Because grocery shopping can be fun

No really, it can be.

By yourself. No kids. And just buying stuff you want without having to take into consideration school lunches, afternoon snacks, footy training snacks etc etc etc...

I got to buy the fruits and veggies I wanted. And it cost me a lot less because I didn't have to buy so much.

And it was relatively peaceful apart from the hundred-odd other people in the store ;)

I love my own bed

Road trips can be fun. Travelling and seeing new things can be fun too.

But nothing beats your own bed.

On the way home

We stayed overnight in Inverell and today we are on our way towards home. Which really means that we'll spend the night with my parents tonight and then the husband and I will head home tomorrow - without the kids.

It's farm holiday time for our munchkins and they have been hanging out for it for the last few months.

Small dude is looking forward to spending time with my parent's dog. They are great mates and keep each other busy ;)

Back in the water

We didn't cart that boat trailer all the way down south for nothing.

We drove to Copeton Dam today for some jet ski and kayaking action.

Ended up with some 4WD bog recovery action as well - oops.

But I got to hit the water with my kayaks and had a brilliant time. I was very impressed with my little dude - he came out with me the first time and kayaked all by himself out to the little island in the middle, all around it and back again. Not one single complaint, and he paid attention to my cues and directions and had a great time.

I have a feeling my butt is going to ache for a few days though.

And I need gloves. I ripped a bit of skin on the inside of my thumb with the paddles.

Note to self. Need a new life jacket and some kayaking gloves.

Easter with friends

We spent lunch today with some old friends. Our kids get along really well with theirs and I think we stayed for 3-4 hours just hanging out. The kids played cricket, ran around, played Uno, Monopoly and whatever else, while us adults just sat on the patio and enjoyed each other's company.

Now that's something I could definitely do more of.

A really lovely day.

Windmills and sunshine

We are safely at the ILs farm and the sun is out. It's really dry - even the kids have commented on how dry it is. Some rain would be really nice.

But it's nice to be away from the city for a while.

I do still prefer my mountains but this will do - they have windmills and other cool things :)

10 hours in a car

Road trip time.

Roll me over, I'm done.

Completely exhausted and I wasn't driving. It's been a long day.

Proud and blessed

I love my kids. They may drive me up the wall and around the bend, but they really are good kids.

My boy had his swimming carnival today. He nominated for and swam 50m for all 4 strokes. He's not yet 9 years old.

Of course, he came first in each - we might mention that there wasn't much competition in the 50m races - but the main thing was he got in and had a go and had fun.

And one thing that made me all warm and fuzzy was during one race, one of his little mates walked beside me as I videoed it and cheered him on and went up and high-fived him at the end - now that's a good mate.

My kids are growing up.

I looked at the girl this morning and realised she's basically a teenager and becoming independent. She took it upon herself to make Easter gifts for all her teachers and delivered them herself before school. She looks so grown up in her high school uniform. And her report card for the term was basically glowing.

So, so proud.

And very, very blessed.

No idea what day it is...

I've spent all day thinking it was Thursday.

It's only Wednesday.

But tomorrow is Thursday. Last day of Term 1 and then Easter break.

I really, really need a break. And so do the kids.

Bring it on.

Something silly

I have two brothers, one older, one younger.

My younger brother is much loved by my two kids - he's the 'fun' uncle lol

I asked them what we should get Uncle J for Easter this year.

"Something silly!" they said.

Hopefully it's silly enough lol

Trying new foods

I'm pretty big on letting my kids try new foods and different cuisines.

Where we currently live, there is a huge Asian influence and the amount of gorgeous food choices is just amazing. Obviously we can't eat all of it thanks to stupid allergies & intolerances, but when we find something we can, we go for it.

The small dude requested recently to try kimchi (Korean fermented cabbage). I found a small tub today and he tried it this afternoon. He's not a fan, but I am.

I love finding new foods to add to the list of things we can eat.

Scales and tales and just wandering about

We took the kids to the Scales 'n Tales exhibition at the RNA today. We didn't realise it was going to be quite so busy - literally squeezing room only.

But the boy got to see the snake handler show, so that was fun. And we saw a few of the reptiles on display.

Lunch was at Roma St Parklands. I'd forgotten just how big they are and we had a really good walk around and saw more lizards lol

I think we'll go back to the parklands again another day to explore some more because the kids had a really nice time.

Aussie rules

Football that is.

The boy is into his fourth season, having started with AusKick and under 6's.

This year he's playing up an age group in under 10s.

Today was the start of the season for the senior players, so the kids played a demo match and then presented the adults with their jerseys.

Hot, sweaty, but very happy - I love watching the boy play.

I really am just making this up as I go along you know...

This adulting business is hard work.

I wouldn't mind someone just coming in and cooking me meals, doing the cleaning, washing and folding my clothes and looking after me. Sounds like a pretty good deal actually.

If you need me, I'll be off playing chauffeur and dreaming about going to bed.

But it's Friday, so there's a positive ;)

Ouch

One slightly sprained wrist - muchly ouch.

As my work revolves very much around being able to use my hands, this is exceedingly frustrating. Hopefully with a bit of rest and ice today it will be all better tomorrow, or at least on it's way.

Also, trying to type one-handed kind of sucks.

That moment when...

You ask your 12 year old daughter which bra you should wear with the shirt you're currently wearing (pfft, definitely a 'couldn't be stuffed' kinda day).

She goes through the pros and cons of each and then tells you which one to wear.

As a self-confessed fashion-unconscious (and, let's face it, un-caring) dork, I appreciate this evolution.

A lot.

Not the kind of surprise I was expecting...

I saw something poking out of the mailbox today on the drive to school. As the post usually comes in the afternoon I thought that was odd, but maybe it was junk mail in a plastic bag or something because it has been raining lately.

Our mailbox is not easy to put things in. It has a lock on it and is set back from the path a little.

So anyway, I checked it when I got home.

One neatly wrapped in plastic dog poo.

Niiiiice.

More than just a little disconcerting as there are plenty of other mailboxes that are much easier to dispose of things in.

Not sure if we've done anything to upset anyone or what. We keep to ourselves, the kids can be a little noisy, but, they are kids. And there's plenty of others around here, so we're not the only family.

Oh well, I guess I'll just keep a closer eye on things from now on.

Monday, Monday...

Or how I really, really hate ironing.

Specifically anything with pleats. Like my daughters new high school uniform, both of which didn't get hung up properly on the weekend after being washed and were full of creases.

That's another thing. Wash and wear, please. Pretty please?

World Science Festival

We took the kids into Southbank today to check out the World Science Festival that's been happening this week.

Apart from forgetting that the Home Show is also on this weekend (all the cars!!) and taking a couple of wrong exits (oops), we got their okay and without the kids killing each other (although they did try).

It was fun, the boy tried most things we came across - big bubbles, blowing smoke rings, checking out the electric and solar powered cars and drones (very cool by the way), and then the heaven's opened and despite having an umbrella, we got drenched.

We had lunch at our favourite Southbank place and, as it was still raining, just decided to come back home. The kids were pretty tired and the crowds were a little bit much for us. If the sun had come back out we may have stayed longer.

But now it's time to get ready for another week. The kids are squealing in the pool and the husband is cleaning out his workshop. My studio needs a clean too... one day, one day...

Domestic goddess?

Today I have baked cookies and even a flourless cake.

I have prepped the veggies for the week and made chicken larb salad for lunch.

I've managed one load of washing (which is yet to be hung out - oops, possibly not a complete domestic goddess lol), and helped the husband with his DIY building project.

The living area and kitchen is also tidy because I have people coming over tonight. I've cleaned the kitchen at least three times today *sigh*

I thought I'd take a moment to actually sit down and just noticed my legs are aching... I sat down to eat lunch I think, and that was it today.

Mongolian lamb for dinner, so I best go and make it.

And then it's cider, friends and crochet until they decide to go home.

That sounds like a pretty good plan.

Rise and shine

Everyone was up early with me this morning.

My girl is off to represent her school at the Greener Brisbane competition as part of the World Science Festival here in Brissie. She had to be at school at 7am... so she caught the train with Daddy ;)

So far the boy has practiced trumpet and I can hear piano sounds now coming from the music room...

Get him off to school and then grocery time. Yay! Food! :)

Schedule a little self-care

Sleep and self-care.

Well, the sleep thing is eluding me, but I scheduled in a little self-care this morning in the form of a nice coffee and catch up with a friend.

It could possibly be mentioned that I still didn't want to go home even after chatting for an hour...

But here I am, a load of washing in the machine, a bit of paper work done and a batch of pretty things ready to go in the oven.

I think it's time for lunch.

Noise and movement

The sounds of a beginner trumpet practice after a 3km walk/run/stair climb.

Yeah that's fun.

As is an English assignment that needed to be read through and grammar checked.

Followed by some weird thing in Scratch that made the exact same sound as my ringtone. That threw me off just a little - I'm so tired!

So glad it's bed time ;)

Dairy free ain't all that fun

If you know me, you know I'm lactose intolerant.

Think less the 'oh I read on a blog that milk is bad for you so I'm just gonna avoid it" and more "damn I want that cupcake with butter cream icing soooo bad... is it worth throwing up/crapping my pants/coming out in hives for".

I've been lactose intolerant before it was 'cool'. Does that make me a pre-emptive hipster... or just old?

My youngest is also lactose intolerant. He also has Coeliac Disease, but that's another story for another time.

But no, having to check labels or turn down desserts that look unbelievably good because you just can't afford to spend more time in the bathroom than necessary, is just plain no fun.

There's no "oh a little bit will be fine" or "pop a lactaid pill" here. No, it will not be fine, and did you know those pills don't work for everyone? They sort of did for a little while. And then they stopped. Spectacularly. That is something I do not want to relive ever.again.

And no, I am not "lucky" that I can't eat anything on a dessert menu. I want that double chocolate brownie with creamy ganache and a side helping of cream AND icecream dammit.

Don't get me started on the "oh I've given up dairy... it's soooo bad for you, no milk/icecream/yoghurt/butter here" while they are munching on a chocolate bar. That... I mean... seriously??

I can't even drink some WINE because I have to read the label on THAT too - I have an allergic reaction (think hives from top to toe) because some vineyards use milk as a refining agent (they can also sometimes use eggs and shellfish, but I'm ok with them). Thankfully labelling laws here make it a fairly painless task, but I can't just order a glass of wine at a restaurant.


If you don't have a medical reason, or an actual logical ethical reason (and NO a random blog post or highly over-hyped 'documentary' is not a good reason) why the hell remove a perfectly fine food group from your diet?


Signed the grumpy one who just wants to eat a Snickers without the fear of throwing up.

First one missed

My girl had her first inter-school swimming carnival for high school today, and it was the first time I didn't get to see her swim. The meet was from 2pm-7pm, and we just couldn't get there until about 6.30pm. Apparently we just missed her relay, and she did a good job.

I'm sad, but also glad that she has a good group of kids and a couple of parents who look out for her.

Aside from that, I have a killer headache, so it's off to bed early for everyone including me. The husband has been gluten-ed (we are a Coeliac household), so he's feeling pretty awful and the boy twisted his ankle at school today, so I'm not sure if he'll be running with me in the morning.

Thank goodness tomorrow is a brand new day.

Missed a day

But with good excuse.
We spent the weekend with family - fun, food and wine.

Exhausted but content.

Screaming banshee alert

There are days where nothing really ever goes to plan.

Today was one of those days. Where you try so hard to have everything right, you have a lot of work to do, you're not feeling the best, and it seems as though everything is working against you.

There's always tomorrow I suppose.

Back to it

Footy training starts again today. Despite that meaning a very busy afternoon and getting home just on dinner time very tired, I am looking forward to it.

We had a great time last year, the girl making new friends, the boy playing with new and old ones, and despite him breaking his hand part way through (never does things in halves that kid), Saturday mornings became a welcome part of our weekly routine.

Time to dust off the boots, dig out the socks (I think we will need new ones, and a new training shirt), and find the jackets for when it starts to get cooler.

I love AFL season :)

Early to bed

Early to rise.

I need to get to bed earlier. Which is why it's not yet 8.30pm and I'm heading off.

Run day tomorrow with the boy, he's all set and ready to go.

Which means I should get ready too...

Upgraded to Windows 10

I hate it when the computers get upgraded. Everything gets moved around.

Blogger is telling me this new browser is unsupported. Well then, support it already, it comes standard apparently. Or I guess I could use Firefox, I suppose.

Still working out if I like it or not.

Undecided.

Keep your hands to yourself

Don't scare your brother.


Don't hit your sister.


Don't laugh at your brother.


And for the love of all things good, just brush your teeth and go to bed.


Yeah. That's my house right now.


One day they'll learn. I hope...

Tell me, how do you lose an entire sports shirt that got worn home?

And that, my friends, is my conundrum on this Sunday night.


I cannot find the stupid shirt. I mean, it's bright yellow, it should stand out wherever it is. At least you'd think it would.


But no, I can't find it. Wracking my brains trying to work out where he's left it and if I even washed it last week. It definitely wasn't in the wash yesterday.


Looks like he's wearing his old one to school tomorrow. It's a size too small, but that's life.


Now where is that damn shirt...

Working late on a Saturday? Check.

Okay, so I spent the day with the family - skate park, shopping (new helmet for the boy child), bbq with friends, in the pool, and all that jazz... but I still have to get about an hour's worth of work in - such is the life of the self-employed ;)


Emails checked, replied to and sent. Orders logged. Invoices planned and will go out on Monday.


And I just organised a visit to my brother later in the week and Easter accommodation.


Not bad for a Saturday night while the munchkins are watching Thor downstairs and the cat is sitting on my feet. Not entirely sure what the husband is doing, but I think I heard him moving stuff around in the gym, so that should be fun.


Aaannnddd I got distracted with another work email writing this post.


I think it's bedtime ;)

A parcel just arrived that I didn't order...

And it says "dumbbell rack" on the packaging...


That means it's mine. And my husband has been buying me pretty things for the gym.


Seriously, I might hold on to him for a bit longer ;)

So, that foam rolling thing...

I think I might just give in and get a foam roller.


After adding a twice-weekly run to the routine (on top of the 3x week weight lifting I already do), my poor legs have been copping it.


Yesterday I did a squat session in the am followed by a fast walk & stair climb in the pm.... and then turned around this morning for the usual scheduled run with the boy child. I stretched as usual, but I'm thinking something extra may be needed and the little massage ball I have just isn't cutting it.


So yep, a foam roller will be on the list for tomorrow when I run errands.


After all, you can never have too much gym equipment.


Right?

When life hits you like a tonne of bricks.

And the tears flow.


Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but more and more people I know and hold dear are being diagnosed with things. Sometimes the outcomes are good, sometimes not.


This morning I got news that a very dear friend had emergency surgery for a brain tumour. She has a long road ahead of her.


It just sucks is all. It just sucks.

I just like asking questions

That's what my 8yo told me yesterday.


He thinks he likes to ask lots of questions so he can learn about everything and learn about himself.
Pretty deep and philosophical for an 8yo.


Which is why my entire trip to and from school is peppered with random inquiries. Constantly.


I do have to admit though, when it comes to looking up answers, Google is a lot easier than trying to navigate the huge encyclopaedias we had when I was a kid.

My kid drinks coffee

And tea.


This morning my boy asked for a decaf latte.
He's 8.


No issues from this mumma - a tiny bit of coffee with milk isn't going to do any damage.


He also devoured two boiled eggs, bacon and some fruit.


It's just food.

He may be sending me broke eating so much, but otherwise.... it's just food.

A quiet day

We did have plans for today, but they went out the window when the husband woke up with a splitting headache. What we did instead was potter quietly around the house doing little bits and pieces and just hanging out.


That was a nice way to spend the day.


And the shelving in the garage is almost done :)

Last minute is always a good thing (well, generally)

We organised last minute this morning to have friends over this afternoon/evening for a swim and dinner.

Sounds good to me.

Packing the girl child off to a youth thing, so we'll just have the one child to contend with.

My girl is growing up *sob* Heading off to events without me or the husband!

I wonder if I can get a nap in before I have to drop her off...

Extra-curricular activities (for the kids I mean)

While I am very glad my eldest is enjoying her foray into high school, I'm hoping all the things she seems so keen on doing aren't too much.


She is on the swim team, with the first training session today. She's also signed up for ice skating during sport - that will start in a couple of weeks. She's joined up with the fundraising club and is apparently very keen to help out with bbq's etc (she must get that from her father as I just don't.do.selling.food - at all). Add to that choir and she was looking at the possibility of backstage work with the musical... I'm trying to work out where my shy and introverted child has gone.


Homework is pretty full-on, but for now she is handling it. I'm also being pretty hard on her and the boy because I want (and need) them to get a habit-based routine in place that they can eventually follow if I'm not around to make sure they get things done. I'm being hopefully optimistic that they'll have something sorted within 6 months?? Please.


The small boy auditioned for and got into the performance choir at his primary school. And has now decided to have a go at learning trumpet. As a former trumpeter, this pleases me immensely. Maybe now we can sell or give away those horrid violins that I have no idea how to play.


They both run once a week and swim in the backyard pool at least 5x a week at the moment while the weather is perfect for it. And the girl has youth group once a week and the boy has a junior youth group once a fortnight.


They are both growing up...


Maybe we can sleep in tomorrow.

What day is it again?

I have to keep reminding myself what day it is this week. For some reason it's really dragging.


Thankfully, today is Thursday, so it's almost the weekend - yay!
But that means only two days left to do some of the stuff I have to get done this week.


Oh well.


It will get done eventually, it always does.

Washing. The bane of my existence.

Well, that and cleaning.


I need to teach my children that they can actually wear their clothes for longer than 30 minutes at a time before throwing them in the dirty clothes basket. I guess the positive side is that they actually use the clothes basket?


Thank goodness for school uniforms.


In other news, today I bought my almost-9yo boy child deodorant.


I'm now officially freaked out.

Arachnids not invited

So, we were jogging along this morning, minding our own business and the girl runs head first into a spider web. Cue the screaming and minor panic attack that must have sounded awesome at 5.45am in the middle of suburbia.


Awesome mother that I am, I told her to wipe it off, suck it up and jog on the road if she had to.


Of course I jogged behind her to keep an eye on cars. I'm not completely insensitive ;)

Mondays mean a fresh start

At least, I hope they do.


I actually like Mondays. They are a symbol of a new week, a new stage, something fresh and full of possibility.


I like to sit down and plan out my week - work, kids, school, husband's stuff... it seems so busy at the moment, but I know very soon when uni goes back and AFL season starts again it's going to get a whole lot busier.


There is also the concern of how to fit everything into the limited number of hours I get to work, and to spend with the kids, just being available for questions and supervision while they do their homework and other stuff.


I guess it's just one of those things you do. Because you have to.


So for now, I still like Mondays.

World's Best Mum...

That's what it says on the little teddy bear figurine I keep on my desk that my husband and daughter gave to me when she was a teeny tiny little munchkin.


Definitely not feeling like it today.


Keeping positive is some hard shit. Honest.


But we do the best we can, and that's all you can do.

Long days..

It's been a long day. It's almost 9pm, the kids got to watch a movie on tv... I am more than ready for bed.


Thankful today that I managed to find a bottle of wine that doesn't want to make me scratch my skin off (I appear to have an allergy to a milk preservative sometimes used in wine) and had a lovely glass with the husband with our home made pizza for dinner.


Valentine's Day tomorrow. Today I was given two dozen red roses. So sweet.


I hope my little present is enough... I'm a bit worried now! I know it's a silly Hallmark occasion and we rarely do anything, but I wanted to do something little this year.


Here's hoping tomorrow is a lovely day.

The things we do...

My girl child's first high school swimming carnival.
8.30am to 3pm... followed by a birthday party. We got home just after 5pm.


I am wrecked. But it's youth group night.


For both kids.


For two hours.


That's two hours (ish) child-free.


I think I can sort of manage that chauffeur trip.

Excuse me while I try to sit my backside down....

Oh DOMS... what would life be without you.


That's Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness for the uninitiated.


I knew adding running to the weekly schedule would make things ache. And it's definitely caught up to me today!

The boy and I did 3.7km this morning during his mummy time running session.


I got home and basically looked at the stairs and cringed ;) A little bit of yoga and stretching did wonders, but am I ever glad it's a light day in the gym tomorrow followed by two rest days lol


It will get better - hopefully next week ;)

It's the little things

While walking back to the car yesterday afternoon, my son said...

"Mum, you're the best Mum ever"


Me: "Why's that?"

Mr8: "Because you bring afternoon tea with you every day. Not everyone's Mum does that."




The way to a kid's heart is through his stomach ;)
Gotta be happy with that.

Pancake Day

This morning my girl and I got up just after 5am, hit the footpath by 5.30am, went for a run and then came home and made pancakes.


Because.


Shrove Tuesday.


Best excuse ever.

Lifting heavy stuff makes me feel awesome.

The title pretty much says it all really.


I started a Hypertrophy stage this morning in the gym.


All my lifts are up hugely since last year.


Soooooo insanely happy, and such a positive boost to my mood.


Being stronger is one of the best feelings in the world.

Sunday, sunday....

There are days I think I should be split into several different parts or at least be cloned a couple of times so I can get more done and be there for more people.


Today is one of those days.


There's only so much of me to go around.


Today I've also had to make the decision to let go of something I enjoyed doing because I just can't fit it in any more, and the alternative option wasn't going to work.


But such is life I suppose. Ebbs and flows.


I've almost finished all my work. The house looks like crap, but I guess I'll catch up with that tomorrow at some stage.


Time now to get started on the usual stuff - dinner, check homework and all that jazz.


School tomorrow.
Work tomorrow.


Let's do this.

Working weekends

Such is life I suppose.


I try not to work on weekends, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.


So studio time interspersed with washing, housework and helping kids with schoolwork/assignments... just a part of life really.


The husband and boy child went to the skateboard park this morning for 3 hours, so that left me and my girl some time to get work done.


I love having a child that can use a vacuum cleaner ;)

Aiming for self care

I run my own business.


It's pretty cool. I make a product that both helps people and brings happiness. You've gotta be happy with that.

Unfortunately it can also get incredibly busy and insane and mind-numbingly frustrating all at the same time. And I've been juggling work, kids, house, family, holidays and whatnot for the last month or so.. constantly. I'm just about all drained out.


So I decided self care was in order. But, as I do, I incorporated a little bit of 'work'.


Every Friday I am blocking out some time to explore a different coffee shop. Have a coffee and do a little bit of planning before getting stuck into errands, groceries and whatever else my list entails. With the new school drop-off routine, this means before or just on 9am, which gives me plenty of time in the rest of the day to get my other work done.


I started this morning at a coffee shop I already frequent. And it was lovely. I blocked everyone else out and just did what I came to do. So peaceful, very calm and unrushed.


Now I just have to decide where I shall go next week :)

Running for it

Mister 8 has been bugging me for ages, so this morning we got up early and were out the door at 5.30am for a walk/jog/run.


Yes, that's early.

Yeah, I'm one of those morning people.


Which means I'm in bed by 9pm ;)


It was so nice. We shall be doing it again and I'm left wondering why we put it off - tired, busy, couldn't be bothered etc.


And then I did the school run, get home and have a text from a friend asking if I wanted a coffee. I needed human interaction, so definitely.


She needed to pick some stuff up so I entertained her munchkin for a bit, which isn't hard because he's adorable.


And now I'm back at work slogging my way through my list and I have the washing machine on (again) and the dryer going downstairs because, children and dirty clothes.


My life is so glamourous. I feel excited because I have fresh sheets on the bed and a new quilt cover from Myer. Seriously. I need a life.

Can we start today over?

Trying to have a discussion with a stubborn and argumentative 8 year old boy is like banging your head against the proverbial brick wall. Guaranteed headache even.


No sleep (again).


The only saving grace so far today (yes, I realise it's only barely 9.30am) is the 5am gym session I had this morning.


Although I'm not overly certain that lifting heavy pieces of iron in a dark garage at 5am when you've had about 2 hours total broken sleep is the best way to 'brighten the day'. It did make me feel better for a while though, and I am glad I did it.


Other than that... well I went the wrong way to school and had to backtrack through some side streets. That was fun. Not sure what I was thinking at the time, I think auto-pilot kicked in.


I have a full work day. I would take offers of coffee being delivered, but I honestly have a crap-load of work to do and am having difficulty figuring out just where to start.


It would almost be easier to work for someone else today. Guaranteed pay, cushy office, lunch breaks...


Okay. Whinge over. Time to get to work.