It's my life

I've been around. Haven't felt much like writing lately, my stress levels and stuff have been off the charts crazy. Mostly due to this weird period of life in which I now find myself. A transition phase, from one part of my life to another.

I'm planning on going back to university next year to do a science degree in nutrition. I've had to wait while the husband finished his double Masters, but he will have that finished by November.

In the meantime, I've been trying to do some free online uni courses to try and get back in the swing of things... well, let me tell you, studying, working, keeping the house relatively tidy and looking after the kids all at the same time is freaking.hard.work. There's not enough hours in the day basically. Very little time to just sit and try to calm myself, so I crashed and burned pretty badly.

And why did no-one tell me that having a teenager + a tween-ager in the house simultaneously was going to be a re-enactment of World War II? Far out, I love them, but they are doing my head in.

A little while ago, in May, I shut down my Etsy store for my handmade business and went completely wholesale only. I'm still getting money coming in, but the workload is a little less (particularly the paperwork).

But the spark is gone. It's turned from a work of love to drudge work - plain and simple.

I've been doing this for nearly 6 years, and I am mentally done. It's time to move on. Time to get on with the next chapter in my life.

So I will close down my little business that has been such a large part of my life at the end of November. And then hopefully just sit back and enjoy the summer Christmas break with the family before I hit the books next year when I should be able to put the majority of my focus onto study. I say majority because, well, I have kids ;)

Am I looking forward to it?  Hell yes.

I love learning new things and I am excited to be able to dive headfirst into something new that will stimulate my brain.

I'm also completely terrified lol But that's because I last finished uni nearly 20 years ago, and I never imagined myself as a mature-age student. I'm not 'mature-aged' am I?? I think maybe I am... and that's a scary thought in itself.

But, that's my life. And I'm doing the best I can. Here's hoping I can hold it all together until Christmas and then get a routine in place so that things don't get too messed up during transition.

Oh, and if anyone can broker a peace treaty between my two warring sibling factions, that'd be awesome. I'm contemplating a remote sheep station with no internet, a roll of wire and a loooooooooooong fence to build :p

I give myself permission to be human

Today and every day.

Life isn't always perfect. It isn't always kitten gifs and sunny days.

Sometimes it just plain sucks.

And that's ok.

Humans are not perfect beings. The world is not a perfect place. We are all perfectly imperfect. Every single one of us.

Bad days happen. That doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It means you are human.

Feel the feels. Experience the emotions. And know that they are valid. They are real to you, and that's all that matters.

Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Do what you have to do to get through.

And give yourself permission to be human.

Everyone is different, and that's okay. Body positivity throughout the teenage years.

I have an almost-teen. Ok, she'll be 13 next month (and that just makes me feel old).

I'll be honest and admit that I've dreaded these years approaching. It was the teenage & highschool years that were pretty much hands down some of the worst years of my life. It's tough when you are very definitely the odd one out physically and very definitely an introvert.

I knew that the physical appearance stuff would creep in eventually. It started a few years ago when my daughter came home from school and mentioned some of the girls were comparing the size of their thighs - calling them 'fat' and other things. We had a good discussion about that - simple things about body composition and genetics and how everyone is different and that's a good thing.

My daughter is extremely short like me. Her body is shaped similar to mine with short legs and a lot of muscle. She will never be 'model thin' or tall - it's not in her genetics. But she's still awesome in every single way.

There was a discussion recently that she told me about at school where the word 'fat' was mentioned. I asked her what she thought. She said that she had tried to explain to people about muscle mass and different body shapes etc, but they didn't seem to understand. So we had a longer talk. We discussed puberty and how it affects girls in particular - all the hormonal changes happening to the brain and the body and how her body shape and size will fluctuate over the next few years as she grows and matures.

I armed her with the knowledge about how women naturally have a little more body fat than men simply due to our ability to bear children, our different hormones and other things. I told her what the rough range for a perfectly healthy body fat percentage is and that the most important thing is that we make movement a natural part of our daily life and eat foods that compliment that - ones that make us feel good before, during and after eating them.

I have made sure in the past that she knows that there are no foods off-limits unless they make her sick (unfortunately, chocolate is still an issue as it gives her migraines, but we're hopeful!), and she is very vocal in her positive outlook to the extent that she has been known to argue the point with others who insist that there are 'good' and 'bad' foods ;)

Girls going through puberty are at a highly impressionable time in their lives. They want to fit in, and part of that is looking the same. Unfortunately, during puberty, their bodies are going through so many changes, inside and out. Everyone develops at different times and in different ways. And if they already have a body shape that is obviously different from the 'ideal' one promoted by social media and others, then the comparison trap is easy to fall into and hard to get out of.

Almost one third of Australian young people aged 11-24 have reported body image as their number one concern. Follow this statistic up with the fact that over half of girls in Australian high schools have tried to lose weight, and you have a rather major problem.

It is up to us as parents to arm our kids with knowledge and power to be able to overcome these societal pressures. To change the cultural norm. To stand up and say enough is enough. Everyone is worthy. Keep the conversation open, let them ask you questions, work with them to find answers or brainstorm solutions. Don't be a part of the problem - be a part of the solution.

You never know where these sorts of things are going to come from or when they will crop up. From best friends to family to random strangers, comments will be made. It's laying a firm foundation so that they know how to deal with those comments, and most importantly, being a positive body role model - kids learn best from examples, so be the best example you can be.

Be aware of it, and be as proactive as you can. Both my kids know they can come to me at any time and unload or ask questions. Arm yourself with information so you can pass it on to them - knowledge and unconditional love are the two best weapons you can have.

Chocolate biscuits

This is a chocolate biscuit (cookie for all you non-Aussie's).

It's a gluten free, dairy free mint chocolate biscuit, but that's beside the point. If I could eat a real Mint Slice without spending the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom I totally would.

I'm having a shit day. I've been up since just before 3am dealing with kid issues. And I wanted a chocolate biscuit with my lunch.

And so I'm having one. It's not a 'treat', it's not a 'cheat', it's not a 'guilty pleasure' - it's a biscuit. And it's all mine because no one else likes mint 😛

I still had my veggie-packed lunch. One biscuit isn't going to make or break my day. I may even have another one if I feel like it after dinner. It will slot in quite fine with my everyday normal balanced diet. Nothing is off limits (unless it makes me sick, obviously)

This is balance and moderation.
No guilt required.
No shame felt.
And I'm not going for a run or hitting the gym to 'work it off'.

It's just a biscuit.

Juice fasts

I was quite happily listening to my podcast playlist during lunch.

Until one of the newer podcasts started talking about doing juice fasts.

Delete.

Which is annoying because I had quite liked that one.

But no, juice fasts are not a necessary part of life. And they have no place in mine.

And yes, I am quite brutal when it comes to social media.

Back squatting over bodyweight

This morning I squatted 46kg (101lb).

Yes, I am a teeny tiny person, so that is 6kg-ish over what I weighed the last time I stepped on the scale.

I'm feeling slightly badass at the moment. Just saying.

No, leave my boy alone... or in other words, the dilemma of the parent of a sporty child.

It's a little weird standing on the sidelines watching your kid play footy and then hearing parents/coaches from the other team telling them to 'go for number 2 - watch him!'

My boy is number 2.

Leave him alone.

Gahhh... he does love his football. Now if only he'd have a growth spurt some time soon...